Something Beautiful or Humorous: Apples that Eli painted

Monday, November 15, 2010

This Poem Is My Theme Song


Theme Song... meaning I've almost had a nervous breakdown trying to live this way.

I was thinking about how to write some posts about eliminating the stress in our lives, and this poem popped into my mind. Can we not let go of false facades? False facades not only discourage authenticity and friendship, but also the stress of trying to keep this up will kill us.

Raise your right hand. Repeat after me: "I will only read this poem if I understand that I am not get more ideas on how to emulate the craziness, but rather LET GO OF IT!"

The Girl in a Whirl
by ‘Dr. Sue’
(a.k.a. Vickie Gunther)

Look at me, look at me, look at me now!
You could do what I do
If you only knew how.

I study the scriptures one hour each day;
I bake,
I upholster,
I scrub,
and I pray.

I always keep all the commandments completely;
I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly.

I help in their classrooms!
I sew all they wear!
I drive them to practice!
I cut all their hair!

I memorize names of the General Authorities;
I focus on things to be done by priorities.

I play the piano!
I bless with my talents!
My toilets all sparkle!
My checkbooks all balance!

Each week every child gets a one-on-one date;
I attend all my meetings (on time! Never late!)

I’m taking a class on the teachings of Paul,
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all …

I track my bad habits ‘til each is abolished;
Our t-shirts are ironed!
My toenails are polished!

Our family home evenings are always delightful;
The lessons I give are both fun and insightful.

I do genealogy faithfully, too.
It’s easy to do all the things that I do!

I rise each day early, refreshed and awake;
I know all the names of each youth in my stake!
I read to my children!
I help all my neighbors!
I bless the community, too, with my labors.

I exercise and I cook menus gourmet;
My visiting teaching is done the first day!

(I also go do it for someone who missed hers.
It’s the least I can do for my cherished ward sisters.)

I chart resolutions and check off each goal;
I seek each “lost lamb” on my Primary roll.

I can home-grown produce each summer and fall.
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all …

I write in my journal!
I sing in the choir!
Each day, I write “thank you’s” to those I admire.

My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen!
My kids get straight A’s!
And their bedrooms are clean!

I have a home business to help make some money;
I always look beautifully groomed for my honey.

I go to the temple at least once a week;
I change the car’s tires!
I fix the sink’s leak!

I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread;
I have all our meals planned out six months ahead.

I make sure I rotate our two-years’ supply;
My shopping for Christmas is done by July!

These things are not hard;
It’s good if you do them;
You can if you try!
Just set goals and pursue them!

It’s easy to do all the things that I do!
If you plan and work smart, you can do them all, too!

It’s easy!” she said …… and then she dropped dead.

3 comments:

The monkey bunch said...

I liked the ending- "then she dropped dead!" If only she had been a little more humble she could have been translated too!

'Becca Black said...

I laughed reading this. I suffer from the same malady you do. Thank you for soliciting the oath at the beginning . . . I might have been tempted . . .

Val said...

Hilariously awesome poem! The ending was very realistic.
We do need to laugh at our culture sometimes--it takes the pressure off.