Something Beautiful or Humorous: Apples that Eli painted

Monday, November 24, 2008

Part 2 Why It's Been A While Since I've Posted (A Discussion About Blog Guilt and Blogger's Block)

The other set of reasons why I haven't made time to post is that I have issues.  

  1. I don't have any spare time!  Oh, that's right, we covered that in my last post.  That is the case often.  But do you ever find yourself giving yourself high blood pressure about it?  "Shoot!  I haven't posted in a while!  I'm going to lose all my readers and blogging friends!"  Luckily, we live in the day and age of Google Reader.  So that shouldn't be a problem.  Also, you may notice in my sidebar that I Tweet almost every day.  I don't have enough time to write a full blog, but have a lot of fun telling people what I'm up to, almost every day.  And for fun, I made my Twitter updates the same as my Facebook updates.  So don't worry.  There's really no lack of me running my mouth.
  2. Too critical of my own ideas!  I've thought so many times:  hey, maybe I could post about this or that.  Then I start to critique my idea and tear it all to shreds.
  3. Too afraid of others' criticism!  This is a journal of sorts, but it doesn't bear any resemblance to the real state of affairs in Natalie's home or Natalie's brain lately.  If it did, I would have posted at least 10 or 20 entries about Barack Obama and how much we love him (yes, I said "we."  I've brainwashed my children, and converted my husband.  Awesome!)  :)  I'm mad, now, that I didn't even do a celebratory post when Obama won!  And many of you know why this is:  I have so many Republican friends & family!!  I did post a couple Twitter & Facebook status updates with sort of hints at my opinions, and all the feedback wasn't glowing, like I would have liked.  It was such a SENSITIVE issue!!  I would start flushing red in the face sometimes when friends of mine would blog about supporting McCain, and I just didn't want others to do the same if I were to blog about my real feelings and opinions.  But now that it's a done deal, if there is an occasional post featuring my Barackophilia, will you forgive me?
  4. A few other taboo topics.  If this blog is even 100th of a snapshot of my life, I would probably be posting more often about my weight struggles, and my depression.  Now the problems with talking about those on this blog:  I don't find either one beautiful or humorous, most of the time.  My goal for this blog was to try not to be overly negative, since that is the temptation, if I let it be a big venting ground.  But my other goal is to just be real and sincere.  Actually, those are my 2 goals in life, basically.  But also, the weight and the depression each have a sort of stigma attached to them, and I definitely don't want THOSE labels.  Who wants to read the blog of the fat, depressed girl?  No one.  I don't view myself that way at all.  But I think the world (and particularly the Molly Mormon World) could use a dose of real life admissions that there are problems sometimes.  Life is mostly great, but is made up of many struggles, and not just visits to pumpkin patches and summer vacations.  I think I'm brave enough to let the blog reflect that once in a while.*
  5. If all else fails, answer a tag.  And I have no problem doing that.  But that inner critical voice again makes an argument- but what about so and so that said they were never going to do tags on their blog- inferring that tags somehow make inferior posts, or something.  And because I want my blog to be The Most Amazing Blog In The World, I have to listen to so and so.  Well, in light of my newfound freedom to blog about whatever I want, the new tag policy is that if I feel like it, I will.  If I don't, I won't.**
  6. But I'm weeks late for Halloween.  Should I still post something?  Well, I finally did.  Better late than never.
What hangs you up about writing in a blog or updating one often?  Do you have blog guilt?  Do you feel like you have to have a Barbie Doll Molly Mormon Life on your blog?

*I'm all for censoring SOME things.  I don't like reading OR writing blogs that are just TMI.  But don't you think there's a happy medium between Too Much Real Life and Not Enough Real Life?

**And don't worry, I don't think tag posts are inferior at all.  I actually think they're a lot of fun to read.  And if you're the one who tagged me, never think that I didn't feel like it or take it personally!  More likely, I spaced it and I have no clue.  I'm pretty sure I have Walking Alzeimers.  But that's another post.  All this disclaiming (!!) because I know how it feels to read blogs and have anxiety attacks, when I'm sure the author didn't mean for me to have one.

Edited to add:  This post was meant to be more self-introspective than judging others' blogs!  Please don't think that I'm asking anyone to change their blog style.  I think I am just trying to give myself & others permission to write something other than a prolonged glowing Christmas card, IF THEY WANT!  But if you don't want, hey, there are some blogs that I love that are just beautiful photos & no grit/reality.  Some good advice about blogging came from Boo Mama:  "Write in a voice that’s uniquely your own. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. There’s only one you, so use that to your advantage."  God gave you a voice.  Use the voice that God gave you!  You can never go wrong doing that, I think.


Kenny and Linsey said...

Sometimes my blog stresses me out and I feel a lot of pressure to be interesting and clever and not overly personal but not too impersonal. Those are the times when I just pretend I don't have a blog and wait until I find a happy blogging place again. I always do, but sometimes it takes awhile.

Michele said...

Love your assessment! Have felt it many times and the beauty is that we all feel it and completely understand where you're coming from. Life isn't always a bowl of cherries and I like reading about people who are tackling those hard days head on. As we know, some other bloggers, who shall remain nameless, may make our lives look dull and uninteresting. However, I love what you write because you are real and that's what I enjoy. We can all see through the others. I'm starting to get a little anxious about this year's Christmas card, even considered not sending, because we have nothing new or noteworthy to report. Heck, we don't even have a job to say stinks! In fact, it's really just been a "please don't let us repeat this year" on so many levels. The redeeming grace is the wonderful days watching the kids grow and the fun times we had taking a walk around the block throwing leaves, etc.
Blogs should be real life, so if you go ahead and write what you want, I'll cheer you on and love reading every word!

Amanda said...

Well, I hope I'm not considered one of the Mollys! ;) I do really get tired of everyone pretending everything is alright and I certainly hope that no one thinks I'm fake. I want to start a blog one day and then the next I don't, mostly because I think people would get sick of my cynical posts. Ah well, maybe someday...

JJ said...

I love that you are real in your blog! And I love that your are real in real life!

The monkey bunch said...

I think you stress way too much. Of course I probably should stress a little more before I insert my foot into my mouth yet again. LOL Relax- it's your blog. Do what you want.

April Cobb said...

You do stress too much, Natalie. So what if someone HATES Obama. He won by a landslide in this country. No one can say you are the crazy one. If you are, then the majority of this country is crazy to feel the way you do. And isn't it better to talk about something real than to talk about nothing at all? Well, I get your point. It is good to stay pretty positive, and you certainly don't have to share the private corners of your heart and mind. But I even think it would be interesting if you talk about what is lying on your floor. You are just that deep and funny. Love you no matter how you feel about yourself!!! April

susan said...

Natalie! I just discovered your blog, love it! You are not the only person at church to love Obama. Scott and I thought we were the only closet democrats around here, but it seems there are more of us than I thought. There are others....

I've just gotten started looking around, but this seems like a great blog. We have straw garland with tiny straw snowflakes in it on our little Christmas trees, courtesy of IKEA. I love the handcrafted feel, but fear they are seeing their last Christmas. We've had them for 10 years, but despite careful storage, they are a tangled mess each December. Their strings are giving out:-(. I look forward to visiting your blog again.