Something Beautiful or Humorous: Apples that Eli painted

Friday, November 24, 2006

Clean like a madwoman or eat a twinkie?

I am really looking forward to seeing what the scale says at Weight Watchers tomorrow. Other than Thanksgiving (which may have ruined everything... but we'll see...), I have worked so hard these past two weeks. I need to see some results for my work. It's been HARD!

One reason I've been putting off losing weight is the whole nature of the beast- a ton of hard work & very little to show for it. (It actually reminds me of law school in that way. I hated law school! It was so miserable.) So keeping that in mind, my hopes are not up at all that I will have lost big numbers. But right now the accountability & hope that I will see at least some small, little results tomorrow at the meeting is the only reason I'm sticking to it!

Food has just been my drug of choice pretty much all my life. It dulls the pain. Over and over again during these past 2 weeks, I've found myself getting stressed or upset about something and desperately wanting to fix it by eating something yummy. It doesn't matter to me that it doesn't fix the actual problem (my kids are still screaming, my husband is still late coming home or whatever...), but it takes the edge off things so much.

A couple of friends of mine clean their houses like madwomen when they're stressed. It works well as an escape for them or a way to forget about their pain. I wished that worked for me. The only thing that has replaced the eating for me is yelling. Not good. That's why if you remember a few days ago, my blog was about me being the wicked witch of the west.

So cleaning versus eating. You can eat while you're dealing with screaming children but it's hard to clean your house & deal with kids at the same time. Kid stress is probably 95% of my stress. Cleaning burns calories... that's a pro for cleaning.

I don't know. I think I'll deal with this the way I deal with so many other dilemmas that don't seem to be solvable. I probably need to make this a matter of prayer and hopefully find a solution. I sure hope I can succeed at losing weight to be a healthier mom for my kids without emotionally scarring them for life in the process! :)

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